Anger

This is one thing I am totally guilty about and need to confess everyday.  I have a short fuse.  I get irritated so easily and can lash out a person to death by my words.  Before I became a Christian, I believed that my anger is reasonable... is justified.  I usually say - "this is me, I can't control it."  And I never knew it  was a SIN.   I never realized that when I get angry and do not hold off words from my mouth, it leads to people around me getting hurt, feel sorry about themselves or bringing them down.  It may ignite a fight or a feeling of resentment. All I thought before -  I was doing the right thing and that the person will learn not to do such thing anymore that can make me angry.  IT WAS SELFISH.

And so now, I am asking for God's mercy and power to guide me as I go through His anger management class.  I ask of the Holy Spirit to greatly convict me when my blood starts to boil.  I don't want to make a fool out of myself.  As the bible says-

Proverbs 29:11 (NIV)
A fool gives full vent to his anger,
but a wise man keeps himself under control


I am set to straight this thing out with me before I will realize that having no self control on my anger costs me my family or friends already.

I am going to make it one step at a time.  The very basic on how to control anger is to become slow to it.  And I want to share a devotional from Rick Warren that gave me the best action plan for my quest to controlling my anger:

When you’re angry, don’t respond impulsively. Delay is a great tool in controlling anger. I'm not saying delay indefinitely or even beyond a day; the Bible says don't go to sleep when you're angry. I'm talking about delaying it for five minutes.

When you start to get ticked off, take "time out" for a few minutes. Give yourself some time to reflect and think through the situation. If you don't stop and think, you are likely to do the wrong thing. You need to reflect before you respond.

When we get angry, we need to make a habit of stepping back, waiting a few minutes, and then looking at the situation from God's point of view. Notice how the Bible says a wise man lets his anger cool down (Proverbs 29:11). So, "cool it" is a Biblical term! A modern translation might be: “The wise man waits and chills out.” Thomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence, said, “When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.”

And so I pray,

Father, forgive me for sinning in anger and for hurting people I love because of this. Be patient with me and empower me as I go through the challenge of changing myself in Jesus Christ likeness.  I cannot do this on my own strength so I ask for your strength. I thank you Lord because you called me and saved me.  And I want to become a living testimony to your power of changing people.

I ask these in the name of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  Amen

When realization hits hard...

Ask me yesterday if I was being difficult as an employee to the company and as a staff to my boss and I would answer you NO. I was the best... I was indispensable... important. I had too much of an ego to the point already of being stupid... idiot.

And someone did tell me that before.

Did I accept it? Of course not! My ego and my pride was way to big to admit I was being stupid. I was perfectionist. No one can do a better job than me. I hurled criticisms at my teammates and always thought that they slow down any project that we had to finish. As if they were dragging me down from getting to positions. Even my bosses gained impossible comments from me. They were no good to be my boss. I was always better than them. So proud and mean! So self centered! After all, I was a choleric-sanguine by personality.

And then I came across an article in the net I didn't mean to read at all but I did. I'm really glad I did!

CONFESSIONS OF A RECOVERING IDIOT was all about me... or someone I can totally relate to. Because I was the same person. It was all about having to realize the painful truth that we have faults, that we are not perfect.. that we tend to look at others people's dirt in their faces without having to check our own reflections in the mirror first.

The article was so straight forward that I almost tried to see it as stupid before I even got to read the whole story. But the words of the author poured out reality in me. The words were never kind and encouraging at all to read by someone who can relate- but those words had cut through the shield of my stupidity. I was still trying to mend the shield mind you. But you see doing that will lead me again to the person I now realize was all wrong. I, too has never had the grace to accept criticisms, but I can hurl them back as fast as I could and as painful as it can get to the person. I was too sensitive that the slightest negative comment can ruin the whole day for me.

This confession had hit me so hard that I can't almost take it.

But I want to be a better person now.

I came upon such a powerful article not for me to say it's trash but for me to realize I still have the chance to a BETTER ME.

Busy

I have not uploaded the part 2 of Ilocos trip yet. I was so busy. Last May 1, we were off again to Tarlac for Miggy's bday party at our in-laws house the next day. We left few minutes after the party coz I needed to do some work in the office the following day.

And I became really busy....

You see, when Miguel came to us, my perspective, my priority changed. I knew I was not after a career anymore. What I really wanted was to take care of my husband and son and still have the lifestyle I want and the money to spent.

And deep inside me, I was looking for options. Glad to have found it though.

I can't imagine myself being this busy at work until age 65 when I have the choice to spend such time taking care of my loved ones.

I am smiling now... I can see the future ahead of me. And it's gonna be one hell of an exciting life!

On Attitude

"We may not have a choice about what situations we find ourselves in, but we do have a choice about the ATTITUDE we bring into the situation. And that ATTITUDE can change the over all experience and outcome." - Sam Glenn

This is something that I really need to work on. I have promised myself from this day on to start the small steps in building a better me. And this is where I start. You see, my short patience and temper always puts me in a negative mood. Not so good situations always brings out the worst in me coz I never really try to think before I react. I always choose to react badly and never pause and see the lighter side of the situation.

Simply put, my negative emotions rules and not my logical mind.

I guess I'll be a work in process for a while. But at least I've already come into terms that my attitude needs a major overhaul!

I'm Grateful

There are are times when we are faced with challenges in life that we feel like everything is falling apart. It is but a normal reaction, but not healthy at all. It is hard to stay optimistic when everything around seem to be falling on the wrong place... but you really got to. It is only when you remain strong that you will get to see the brighter side of what it seems a dark moment in your life.


My life is not perfect. Every now and them I stumble upon problems that can cripple me if not for the conscious effort on my part to remain calm and see what's good such challenges can give once I overcome then. And what helps me do that?


By being GRATEFUL.


You see, I have so many things to be grateful about that being put infront of hardships and problems is nothing as compared to what was already given to me. And of the many things, this is on top of my list:


My husband Vergil and my son Miguel.



I feel so blessed to be given such an understanding, kind and faithful husband. I admit that I am not always the perfect wife to him. I have my faults but he always understands. There are those times when I know I am being unreasonable and yet he finds the heart to say sorry to me just to patch things up. For him, pride is never a problem, as long as we are ok. Lucky me, right?

And our little boy? So cute and charming. Miggy was never a cry baby. He always has that smile for everyone and he loves saying Hi even to strangers. He seldom throws tantrums and he barely cries. Very receptive and active. Anyone can love him the moment he flashes those innnocent smiles.

Just thinking of them, I really feel blessed already!

For many people, when problem comes, they act as if it's the end of the world and they feel like they are doomed. I was like that once. But I learned to count my blessings and see things I should be grateful about. Do this and you will find that whatever worries or challenges that is bugging you now is nothing as compared to what was already given to you... and this will give you strength and hope.

So, start to list down things you are grateful about. And be thankful about it.

Attitude Kicker

1. FEED YOUR MIND WITH POSITIVE MATERIALS.

2. FLUSH OFF NEGATIVE STUFF THAT COMES INTO YOUR MIND.

3. USE UPLIFTING, EMPOWERING WORDS WHEN TALKING TO YOUR SELF.

4. SING LIKE A ROCKSTAR.

5. EXERCISE, EAT HEALTHY AND RIGHT, REST UP.

6. BEWARE OF TOXIC ATTITUDES (NEGATIVE PEOPLE)

7. GET REAL.


Got the these again from Sam Glenn's A Kick in the Attitude. I already typed and printed this in a small paper and it is now conveniently posted in my monitor. Well this is such a good guide for me on checking if am doing things that would improve my attitude.