Stumbled

Yes, I stumbled.  I got pissed off yesterday and was almost ready to take out on someone the big bad black dog in me.  I was so consumed with anger that the I can't barely hear the white dog anymore.  Thing is, I gave the reign to the black dog.  I did not pause and count one to ten to calm myself.  In my mind, I just had to do something about it.  And I somewhat got what I wanted.  My charming yet deadly words spurred the action I needed.

But I feel guilty nonetheless.  Not just for feeling so bad but for not praying and trusting the Lord that through His power, He give me what I wanted and spare me from stumbling.

I asked for forgiveness.  And during my quiet time this morning, He talked to me through His Word:

Psalm 37:3-4
Trust in the Lord and do good;
   dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the Lord
   and he will give you the desires of your
        heart.

Psalm 37:8
Be still for the Lord and wait patiently 
     for him;
  do not fret when men succeed on their
      ways.....


Psalm 37:9
Refrain from anger and turn away from wrath;
     do not fret- it leads only to evil.


I am guilty as charged.  But God is merciful and compassionate -

Psalm 37:23-24
If the Lord delight's in a man's way,
   he makes his steps firm;
though he stumble, he will not fall,
   for the Lord upholds him with his 
        hand.


I know God has forgiven me and I am once again given a new chance to change and learn from what happened.  And I ask for His patience and power to transform me and strengthen me to do His will in my life.  If ever I stumble again, it comforts me to know He will be there to catch me.  Because God loves me.

Family Devotional- Check!

Praise God we were able to do our first family devotional tonight!  And Miggy is looking forward to our next.  We agreed to do this every Saturday and once a month, our family devotional will be held somewhere where we can have a small celebration.

Happy!

Got to plan and prepare for our next topic!

Anger

This is one thing I am totally guilty about and need to confess everyday.  I have a short fuse.  I get irritated so easily and can lash out a person to death by my words.  Before I became a Christian, I believed that my anger is reasonable... is justified.  I usually say - "this is me, I can't control it."  And I never knew it  was a SIN.   I never realized that when I get angry and do not hold off words from my mouth, it leads to people around me getting hurt, feel sorry about themselves or bringing them down.  It may ignite a fight or a feeling of resentment. All I thought before -  I was doing the right thing and that the person will learn not to do such thing anymore that can make me angry.  IT WAS SELFISH.

And so now, I am asking for God's mercy and power to guide me as I go through His anger management class.  I ask of the Holy Spirit to greatly convict me when my blood starts to boil.  I don't want to make a fool out of myself.  As the bible says-

Proverbs 29:11 (NIV)
A fool gives full vent to his anger,
but a wise man keeps himself under control


I am set to straight this thing out with me before I will realize that having no self control on my anger costs me my family or friends already.

I am going to make it one step at a time.  The very basic on how to control anger is to become slow to it.  And I want to share a devotional from Rick Warren that gave me the best action plan for my quest to controlling my anger:

When you’re angry, don’t respond impulsively. Delay is a great tool in controlling anger. I'm not saying delay indefinitely or even beyond a day; the Bible says don't go to sleep when you're angry. I'm talking about delaying it for five minutes.

When you start to get ticked off, take "time out" for a few minutes. Give yourself some time to reflect and think through the situation. If you don't stop and think, you are likely to do the wrong thing. You need to reflect before you respond.

When we get angry, we need to make a habit of stepping back, waiting a few minutes, and then looking at the situation from God's point of view. Notice how the Bible says a wise man lets his anger cool down (Proverbs 29:11). So, "cool it" is a Biblical term! A modern translation might be: “The wise man waits and chills out.” Thomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence, said, “When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.”

And so I pray,

Father, forgive me for sinning in anger and for hurting people I love because of this. Be patient with me and empower me as I go through the challenge of changing myself in Jesus Christ likeness.  I cannot do this on my own strength so I ask for your strength. I thank you Lord because you called me and saved me.  And I want to become a living testimony to your power of changing people.

I ask these in the name of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  Amen

Trust In The Lord

Right now, as I am tapping away,  I am filled with so much grief and anxiety. Problems seems to just drop in my lap all at once. This is one of the times when doubt overshadows my faith and love in Jesus.  But as always, I am casting my anxiety to him.  God loves me, He died on the cross for me.  Period.

But you see, once in a while, despite my growing faith and relationship with my Lord and Savior, I stumble.  But I deeply believe that when I pray for strength and ask for forgiveness for doubting His promises or words, I slowly feel the peace. And so I ask for forgiveness, and mercy and strength.  And I turn to His word.

1 Peter 5:7
    Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

James 1:12
   Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.

Hebrews 12:7
  Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his Father?

John 14:1
  Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.

Your Will Be Done

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will.


Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.


I am a Sanguine-Choleric.  Most of the time, I hate it when I am not in control.  And this brings so much anxiety as I get through life.

But when I started to develop my intimacy with God, through my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, I have learned to pray for His will and ask for strength to obey it.  It was not hard despite the fact that all my life, what I always thrive for is to be in control of everything.  Why?  Because I believe in God's promise that His will is perfect and He has the best plan for me.

It is so amazing when you have so much faith to His Word.  There is so much peace and joy in my life as I surrender to Him.  And everyday as I pray and listen to Him through His Words, my everyday life brings so much contentment, joy and peace that I will never trade for anything else.