Trip to Bataan- Las Casas Filipinas de Acuzar Day 2

Breakfast at Cafe Marivent

Can't get enough of Csa Escolta as background

Maxene wanted to jump on the fountain water!

Walk thru the memory lane...

T

The pool

Can't get enough of playing in the sand

Enjoying the view

One of the old houses

Inside Casa Byzantina

The stair...

Mural inside Casa Byzantina

Trip to Bataan- Las Casas Filipinas de Acuzar Day 1

View in front of the resort office - Miggy enjoying the 40's view

Batis-type pool; freshwater pool

Enjoying our play in the sand

Swimming with daddy

Playing around with Kuya Miggy

Casa Escolta in the background

Entrance to our room

View really turns you back in time

Casa Byzantina

At the bridge

Dinner by the river

Paella! 

At the garden in front of our room

Take your breathe away...

Maxene excited to play

Casa Escolta

Trip To Bataan- Mt Samat

Dambana ng Kagitingan

View at the top

The cross- viewing are the top of the cross, accessible thru elevator

Enjoying the view

Having fun- cool breeze on top of  Mt. Samat

Trip to Bataan

A much needed vacation that I have been praying.  For the past years, we were too busy to even plan one.  Then later on, we cannot afford it anymore.  But God is good.  I prayed for this.  And He answered in so many ways.  :-)

Destination:  Las Casas Filipinas De Acuzar
Detour: Mt Samat (Damabana ng Kagitingan)
Stop Overs:  Jollibee (kid's request) Pamapanga's Best Outlet (San Fernando, Pampanga)

Pictures and kwento on my next post!

How I Fail to Trust God

Last week, God must have tested my patience and my faith in His promises.  And guess what?

I failed!

Here's what happened:

We have been expecting a fund that will come in first week of May supposedly.  Actually, truth is, we've been hoping to have it around April pa, but delays happened along the way so finally, it was approved last week of April and we expected the check first week of May.  Then problems arose on the computations. approval etc. Since the check is actually Vergil's , of course, I cannot really go frontline and oversee it.  The worst thing is, there were so many unexpected deductions that we will receive just 1/4 of the original expected amount.  Aside from the long delay, the amount got me so frustrated.  Now, this is the part where I am not proud of - out of my frustration, impatience and anger, I lashed out at Vergil.  I actually blamed him for not being so proactive at making sure the check is being processed on time and for not fighting back and complaining of the deductions they made.  (So sorry but I don't want to make specifics of the nature of the fund nor the situation.)  I was really mad because that money was supposed to cover loans and bills that are due, including my son's tuition fee.  I really felt betrayed and I was actually feeling so down.

Then I cried out to God, asking Him why it had to be this way.  I poured out my heartache - I was really angry.

And then I realized, I was overreacting.  The amount was not yet final and Vergil can still contest it.  And Vergil asked them to issue an initial check while they talk about the "contestable" amount.

Now why the super negative emotion?  Because I was impatient.  I did not want it to have such delays and problems.  I was mad because it took us a long wait and then all of a sudden when the money is already there, a lot of problems came out.

And sad to say, I did not pray to God and trusted Him that whether we will get the whole amount or not, He will provide because He will never leave me nor forsake me.

Last Sunday's message by Pastor Nett concluded the lesson I've learned from the whole ordeal.   He was talking about how David, because of His intimacy with God, trusted Him to deliver Goliath in his hands.  What had strucked me (and I knew then that God was talking to me), was when Pastor Nett mentioned about Christians who had experienced God's love and mercy many times and then when faced with problems again, they do not draw strength from those experiences and they tend to forget that God who had delivered them from their problems before will deliver them again because He is faithful.


Ouch....  that's me.

So I asked Lord for forgiveness.  And I asked Him to be patient with me as I pursue to know Him better everyday.  I know along the way that I will still stumble but knowing that God is merciful, He will pick me up again.  And I know as I draw closer to Him, I will become better at fully surrendering my life to Him.

To God be all the glory!



1 Samuel 17:37
       The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.

Embrace The Light

As soon as the book Purpose Driven Life made it to the bookstores as a bestseller book, I bought a copy.  I don't remember though if I bought the book because I got curious, or I was hoping that somehow the book can enlighten me on what's my real purpose in life.  Read the book, made it until the first chapter only and then tossed it aside because I simply did not understand what it talks about.  Fast forward the tape - I became busy, pursued a career and high pay and then eventually pursued financial freedom.  That is when I got so drank up and consumed towards achieving the goal.  My priority was to gain financial freedom at all cost.  I thought I was doing the right thing and found my purpose in life.  I was not happy though - I was frustrated and there was always a nagging feeling of discontentment and guilt inside me.  There was an unexplainable turmoil inside that I chose to ignore.

We (with Vergil)  made it to our goal, but we wanted more.  We furiously raced to the next.  That was the time we stumbled big time.  Late part of 2010 and most part of 2011 was hell on earth for me.  I never imagined so many problems and trials pouring out simultaneously in our life.  I was on the verge of depression.

I am glad, blessed and thankful I turned to the light.  I went out from the darkness that was so long engulfing me and embraced the light that was always there all along.  And just when I did that, I felt peace and joy inside.  I am talking about peace and joy amidst the problems and trials.

It became my goal to know more about God and to know more about my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  And along the way, I learned to surrender and trust in His will.  Before I have accepted Christ, I would not have the strength to do such thing.  I just cannot give up control of my life.  But I got to know Him intimately enough to trust Him and His promises. I have confessed my sins and accepted His gift of salvation.

And my purpose in life became clearer to me each day.  I know longer feel the vast void I once had before while pursuing what I believed then was my life's purpose.  When you walk into the light, the truth will be revealed to you, just as it did to me.  I no longer carry the burden of making the most out of this life and building an earthly legacy.  Instead, I learned and now believe in eternal life.  That life here on earth is just temporary and short, and we are here to work on what matter's the most.

Funny thing that I stumbled upon my copy of the Purpose Driven Life again.  And this time, with the Holy Spirit and Jesus dwelling in me after I have accepted Him as my Lord and Saviour, I came to understand and enjoyed every word in the book.  Just as I have understood and enjoyed His Word.  The Lord now is my compass and my captain.  I have already given up my control of the wheel.  But I am confident of His plans for me because He had it all laid down in the blueprint that is with me - His Word, the Bible.

Do I still have problems? Of  course.  Do I still feel frustrated sometimes? My old nature creeping back? The answer is yes.  But I have my ally who strengthens me, who convicts me and looks upon me with great love and mercy.

I have Jesus, my Lord and Saviour and that is enough to keep me going and walking into the path He prepared for me.

Do Not Worry

Until now, my heart is filled with so much thanksgiving and praise to God our Father and to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. God is really good and he has an unfailing love to those who trust in Him.  I am a living testimony to that.

You see, I was a chronic worrier.  If things where not supposed to be or things got out of my control, I worry... a lot!  And this causes so much anxiety in my heart taking away all the peace that is left of it.

When I finally accepted Jesus as my Savior and Lord, I decided to know Him and His promises and have faith in them.  And then I read  Matthew 6:25-33 about not having to worry about what we will eat or drink or wear because God knows what we need.  If birds and lillies were being taken care of by our Father, how much more us?  And then He said:

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.


Do I still worry now?

I worry less now.  I still feel it but whenever I get to that, I bowed down and pray and tell Him that I cannot go through it without Him and I need Him to guide me and strengthen me.  And He never fails to be there for me.

And recently, things didn't went as expected regarding a fund that we were expecting to come 2nd week of the month.  I began to worry because there were bills and payments that were due and that fund was are only hope.  But I know better now.  I prayed and talked to God.  The next morning,  a gift came.  I was handed a check as a gift for helping out in something.  I was dumbfounded and overwhelmed!  I wanted to cry.  I silently give thanks to God.

You see, when you trust in Him, He never fails.  If you have prayers that are unanswered, learn to wait and trust in God's timing.

Trust In The Lord

Right now, as I am tapping away,  I am filled with so much grief and anxiety. Problems seems to just drop in my lap all at once. This is one of the times when doubt overshadows my faith and love in Jesus.  But as always, I am casting my anxiety to him.  God loves me, He died on the cross for me.  Period.

But you see, once in a while, despite my growing faith and relationship with my Lord and Savior, I stumble.  But I deeply believe that when I pray for strength and ask for forgiveness for doubting His promises or words, I slowly feel the peace. And so I ask for forgiveness, and mercy and strength.  And I turn to His word.

1 Peter 5:7
    Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

James 1:12
   Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.

Hebrews 12:7
  Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his Father?

John 14:1
  Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.

Your Will Be Done

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will.


Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.


I am a Sanguine-Choleric.  Most of the time, I hate it when I am not in control.  And this brings so much anxiety as I get through life.

But when I started to develop my intimacy with God, through my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, I have learned to pray for His will and ask for strength to obey it.  It was not hard despite the fact that all my life, what I always thrive for is to be in control of everything.  Why?  Because I believe in God's promise that His will is perfect and He has the best plan for me.

It is so amazing when you have so much faith to His Word.  There is so much peace and joy in my life as I surrender to Him.  And everyday as I pray and listen to Him through His Words, my everyday life brings so much contentment, joy and peace that I will never trade for anything else.

Must See Movie: COURAGEOUS

Saw the movie at CCF's free movie night last Friday with some of our friends.

I was in tears and I was deeply touched.  Highly recommended especially to fathers and husbands!

Medicine To My Anxious Heart

Last week, a letter had put so much trouble and anxiousness to my heart.  I felt helpless and I was slowly being dragged to darkness. But I knew better already than to sulk in tears and have a pity party inside me.  I prayed to God in Jesus name and His promise came to my heart:

Hebrews 13:5

..... Never will I leave you;

          never will I forsake you.

Hebrews 13:6

So we say with confidence,

   " The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.

      What man can do to me?"

As I keep on saying these words in my mind,  the amazing thing happened.  My heart grew calm and peaceful.  God is really faithful, and I have learned to trust in Him, and surrender in His will.  My God is bigger than my problems. 

I praise God for his faithfulness and mercy through His Son, my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

In His Presence Day 2

What truth I have learned:

• Understand the God is in control.  If we want to have calm within, cease striving from the worries, anxieties and frustrations inside.  
• Spend time listening to God through his Word.  
• Nourish our soul.  Feed the one that tells us to please God.
• Surrendering to the Lord is not about giving up, but giving in to His love, grace, destiny, blessings.
• The deepest cry of the soul is REST.  The deepest longing of the soul is PURPOSE.  The greatest need of the soul is RE-ALIGNMENT.

I am blessed to once again learn from His words.  I am a living testimony of how God's grace and love can calm your heart amidst all the trials and hardships of life.  

God bless us all! 

2012 CCF Leadership Conference - Day 1

Very important points that I got from our speaker Pastor Edmund Chan that touched me:

•     Truth doesn't change lives.  Truth applied does.
•     Intimacy with God is neither earned or deserved.  It is an invitation from God.
•     We are created to enjoy intimacy with the Lord.
•     Peace is not the absence of trouble.  Peace is the presence of God.
•     Approval of God is more important than the applause of men.  
•    Our soul's desire should be to please HIM by believing and following Jesus.
•    And we can only do the the one thing that will please Him if we are in His presence.

The seminar is actually about discipleship, that which is what Jesus wants us to do.  We (with Vergil) are not yet leaders of a small group but we are really blessed by what w have learned.

Day 2 today.

God bless us all!

The Choice: His Will

I can say the offer for me to go back to corporate life is tempting... especially the position (power) and money.  Before I saw the offer, I am somewhat decided on what to choose, but when I actually saw it - I had nagging doubts.  My mind keeps on playing already on what I can buy or pay with the money.

But I prayed hard for the Lord's wisdom.  This time, I want to do His will and not mine.  I also discussed this to people dear to me, especially my husband.

I've been out of the corporate for almost 3 years already. And one thing I did not enjoy was not having a regular amount of income. But being with the kids most of the time is just one thing I really loved the most.

As I was meditating and praying on this... I really felt more and more at peace with my decision to move forward.  I got out of the corporate because I want more out of life - to have more time with my husband and kids and be there for them for most of the milestones in their lives.  And I took the risk already by deciding to get out-  I felt it was not a time for me to give up. And since I felt more peace already and the temptation is not that strong anymore-  I know it is God's will for me to already move forward and pursue my purpose in life.

I really thank God because my direction is now clear to me.  And I really look forward into discovering more and more of His promises and what is best for me according to His will.

I've never felt really more excited about life than now.  Amidst all the problems and hardships - I feel peace, love and contentment.  That is really the power of accepting Jesus - the Spirit starts to live in you.

:-)

Praying for Wisdom

I am a little bit confused now and asking for God's guidance.  I don't want to decide without His intervention.

The corporate offer is very tempting.  But I am now given the opportunity to start putting up something that would give me more time with my family, especially the kids.

Need to really pray for this.  Help me Jesus.

Grateful

I've been praying about this.  And God never really fails to give to those who ask.  I've already learned to ask for God's guidance in every decision that I was going to make.  And true enough, when he gives you peace in a decision, it is the right decision.  And I have never felt more at ease.

I am really excited and looking forward for the next days to come.

God's Gift

I attended my first bible class last night for me to learn the bible in the right way.  It has been my resolution to know more about God and Jesus and to get intimately dependent on them. Now it has become my pursuit.

And I learned last night that it is God's desire for us to have Eternal Life and Abundant life.

John 3:16  For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal live


But we are separated from Him because of our sin problem.  That is why depending only to ourselves, on what we can do will not give us God's love and grace and gift of eternal life.  It is only by our strong faith in God that we can receive His grace.  How do we make such a strong faith out of us?

John 14:6  Jesus said: I am the way, the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.


Jesus has told us himself that He is the ONLY way that we can get through God.  And accepting him, believing in Him and knowing Him will give us the Eternal Life God made available for us.

These truths are really liberating for me.  And it is now giving me light to the right path of what is really my purpose in life.

And I thank the Lord God and Lord Jesus for all the trials and hardships that had humbled me.  It had made me came seeking for Him.

And I am experiencing now so much peace in my heart amidst the problems and trials.  Because I have Jesus in me and He will never forsake me.

Praise God for giving us Jesus our saviour!

Updates: Maxene's 1st Birthday

Be Grateful Today

1. I have a beautiful family.
2. I have healthy kids.
3. We have a nice house.
4. We have food in our table.
5. My kids are comfortable.
6. My son is in a good school.
7. My mom and brother are helping me out in the house.
8. My mother in law and father in law for always helping us.
9. My family for always being there for us.
10. We have some comforts and wants others don't have.
11. We saw a business that can lead us to a great life and we have mentors who are patient and tjey never fail to give support.
12. We have great friends.
13. I was able to buy gifts for Christmas.
14. We were able to sell some stuff.
15. We have aircon at home.
16. We received a package from Nonong and family.

The New Blog To A New Me

I am keeping this blog private until I am ready to bare my soul to everyone.  For the moment, this blog will chronicle my journey to a better me through my new found love and faith in Jesus and God.  I am keeping a strong hope that this is the start of a better future for me.  For almost 2 years, I kept in the dark wondering what went wrong and blaming other people of the circumstances.  Until I found the Lord Jesus.  And now I understand why I had to go through the pain, frustration, disappointment and hard life. For me to be able to go back to Him and realize - that I cannot lean on my own understanding and control my life.  I had to let go and trust Him.

I am looking forward for peace and happiness in my heart and for those around me.

Thank you Lord. And I love you.

I Think I Did Great

I think I did great with my talk yesterday.  If great means my mentor telling me that he is so proud of me and other people congratulating me for sending a great message across, I think I really did great!  Sayang lang I did not thought na of bringing my camera para sana man lang me video. And Vergil din was not there.. so sad.  But he is badly needed by his parents so I understand.

Will be hearing the mass today with Miggy.

Updates when I get back.

Sad But Grateful

Just logged in to check for any new update from Tina Tagle's blog... it is now readers by invitation only from the owner of the blog.  Buti na lang nabasa ko na all of her entries... kaso no more updates.

Sad.

But well, I have things naman today that I should be grateful about:

1.  My husband and my two cute kids- they are healthy and well
2.  I am in great health
3.  I arrived at my appointment safe and result is positive
4.  I have my mother and brother to look after my kids while I am out of the house
5.  I ate and was full
6.  Free wifi here at Amway center - coffee machine is out of order though
7.  My brother lent me his netbook- our notebook is too mabigat for me to carry around
8.  My husband booked a BBS ticket last night
9.  Our business mentors
10. I am growing to be a better person everyday

How about you? What are the things you're grateful today?

Back for the nth time

I am back... hahaha! I hope this time I am gonna do this consistently.

Reason why? I got so inspired by Tina Tagle's blog Serendipity.

Gotta read more... then will start to update!