I am not proud to say that the busyness and sleepless nights I went through during the income tax season had forced me to forgo my morning quiet time with God and expectantly had put me in a hibernate mode when it comes to what should my purpose in life be- to declare God's love and mercy to those who does not know Him. I feel guilty that I did not trust God enough to know that even if I spend my whole day spending time with Him, He has the power to give me the strength to meet my deadlines and He could have made it less stressful for me. The past days, guilt is pounding my heart so much that I am having a hard time doing my quiet time with God because I am ashamed to talk to Him. My unfaithfulness could have made Him decide to make it impossible for me to finish my work or even beat the deadline. He could have showed me that if it His will for me not to be able to complete my task, it will happen that way despite my 200% effort and sleepless nights. But He showed me mercy and love. He remained faithful to my prayers of help despite my unfaithfulness. He showed me over and over again that He loves me despite of hibernation mode.
This morning, I asked for forgiveness and thank Jesus for the forgiveness of my sins. Because this is why Jesus died on the cross to pay for all my sins once and for all. He knew that my heart will still cause me to sin despite of my decision to follow Him. I am not proud to say that again, I stumbled. But God's love and mercy and grace is new every morning. And I won't allow the devil anymore to make me wallow in guilt and not enter God's presence. God has forgiven me, and He is giving me another chance to take the direction He want me to follow. His presence will guide me into His will in my life.
Thank you Lord Jesus for forgiving me and dying on the cross for me. Thank you for giving me another chance and for making me realize that I have not fully surrendered my life to you. Please help me, transform my whole heart and please lead me to Your will.
For no one is cast off by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is His unfailing love.