As soon as the book Purpose Driven Life made it to the bookstores as a bestseller book, I bought a copy. I don't remember though if I bought the book because I got curious, or I was hoping that somehow the book can enlighten me on what's my real purpose in life. Read the book, made it until the first chapter only and then tossed it aside because I simply did not understand what it talks about. Fast forward the tape - I became busy, pursued a career and high pay and then eventually pursued financial freedom. That is when I got so drank up and consumed towards achieving the goal. My priority was to gain financial freedom at all cost. I thought I was doing the right thing and found my purpose in life. I was not happy though - I was frustrated and there was always a nagging feeling of discontentment and guilt inside me. There was an unexplainable turmoil inside that I chose to ignore.
We (with Vergil) made it to our goal, but we wanted more. We furiously raced to the next. That was the time we stumbled big time. Late part of 2010 and most part of 2011 was hell on earth for me. I never imagined so many problems and trials pouring out simultaneously in our life. I was on the verge of depression.
I am glad, blessed and thankful I turned to the light. I went out from the darkness that was so long engulfing me and embraced the light that was always there all along. And just when I did that, I felt peace and joy inside. I am talking about peace and joy amidst the problems and trials.
It became my goal to know more about God and to know more about my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And along the way, I learned to surrender and trust in His will. Before I have accepted Christ, I would not have the strength to do such thing. I just cannot give up control of my life. But I got to know Him intimately enough to trust Him and His promises. I have confessed my sins and accepted His gift of salvation.
And my purpose in life became clearer to me each day. I know longer feel the vast void I once had before while pursuing what I believed then was my life's purpose. When you walk into the light, the truth will be revealed to you, just as it did to me. I no longer carry the burden of making the most out of this life and building an earthly legacy. Instead, I learned and now believe in eternal life. That life here on earth is just temporary and short, and we are here to work on what matter's the most.
Funny thing that I stumbled upon my copy of the Purpose Driven Life again. And this time, with the Holy Spirit and Jesus dwelling in me after I have accepted Him as my Lord and Saviour, I came to understand and enjoyed every word in the book. Just as I have understood and enjoyed His Word. The Lord now is my compass and my captain. I have already given up my control of the wheel. But I am confident of His plans for me because He had it all laid down in the blueprint that is with me - His Word, the Bible.
Do I still have problems? Of course. Do I still feel frustrated sometimes? My old nature creeping back? The answer is yes. But I have my ally who strengthens me, who convicts me and looks upon me with great love and mercy.
I have Jesus, my Lord and Saviour and that is enough to keep me going and walking into the path He prepared for me.
Posted by Grace at 7:42:00 PM
Until now, my heart is filled with so much thanksgiving and praise to God our Father and to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. God is really good and he has an unfailing love to those who trust in Him. I am a living testimony to that.
You see, I was a chronic worrier. If things where not supposed to be or things got out of my control, I worry... a lot! And this causes so much anxiety in my heart taking away all the peace that is left of it.
When I finally accepted Jesus as my Savior and Lord, I decided to know Him and His promises and have faith in them. And then I read Matthew 6:25-33 about not having to worry about what we will eat or drink or wear because God knows what we need. If birds and lillies were being taken care of by our Father, how much more us? And then He said:
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Do I still worry now?
I worry less now. I still feel it but whenever I get to that, I bowed down and pray and tell Him that I cannot go through it without Him and I need Him to guide me and strengthen me. And He never fails to be there for me.
And recently, things didn't went as expected regarding a fund that we were expecting to come 2nd week of the month. I began to worry because there were bills and payments that were due and that fund was are only hope. But I know better now. I prayed and talked to God. The next morning, a gift came. I was handed a check as a gift for helping out in something. I was dumbfounded and overwhelmed! I wanted to cry. I silently give thanks to God.
You see, when you trust in Him, He never fails. If you have prayers that are unanswered, learn to wait and trust in God's timing.
Right now, as I am tapping away, I am filled with so much grief and anxiety. Problems seems to just drop in my lap all at once. This is one of the times when doubt overshadows my faith and love in Jesus. But as always, I am casting my anxiety to him. God loves me, He died on the cross for me. Period.
But you see, once in a while, despite my growing faith and relationship with my Lord and Savior, I stumble. But I deeply believe that when I pray for strength and ask for forgiveness for doubting His promises or words, I slowly feel the peace. And so I ask for forgiveness, and mercy and strength. And I turn to His word.
1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his Father?
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.