Embrace The Light

As soon as the book Purpose Driven Life made it to the bookstores as a bestseller book, I bought a copy.  I don't remember though if I bought the book because I got curious, or I was hoping that somehow the book can enlighten me on what's my real purpose in life.  Read the book, made it until the first chapter only and then tossed it aside because I simply did not understand what it talks about.  Fast forward the tape - I became busy, pursued a career and high pay and then eventually pursued financial freedom.  That is when I got so drank up and consumed towards achieving the goal.  My priority was to gain financial freedom at all cost.  I thought I was doing the right thing and found my purpose in life.  I was not happy though - I was frustrated and there was always a nagging feeling of discontentment and guilt inside me.  There was an unexplainable turmoil inside that I chose to ignore.

We (with Vergil)  made it to our goal, but we wanted more.  We furiously raced to the next.  That was the time we stumbled big time.  Late part of 2010 and most part of 2011 was hell on earth for me.  I never imagined so many problems and trials pouring out simultaneously in our life.  I was on the verge of depression.

I am glad, blessed and thankful I turned to the light.  I went out from the darkness that was so long engulfing me and embraced the light that was always there all along.  And just when I did that, I felt peace and joy inside.  I am talking about peace and joy amidst the problems and trials.

It became my goal to know more about God and to know more about my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  And along the way, I learned to surrender and trust in His will.  Before I have accepted Christ, I would not have the strength to do such thing.  I just cannot give up control of my life.  But I got to know Him intimately enough to trust Him and His promises. I have confessed my sins and accepted His gift of salvation.

And my purpose in life became clearer to me each day.  I know longer feel the vast void I once had before while pursuing what I believed then was my life's purpose.  When you walk into the light, the truth will be revealed to you, just as it did to me.  I no longer carry the burden of making the most out of this life and building an earthly legacy.  Instead, I learned and now believe in eternal life.  That life here on earth is just temporary and short, and we are here to work on what matter's the most.

Funny thing that I stumbled upon my copy of the Purpose Driven Life again.  And this time, with the Holy Spirit and Jesus dwelling in me after I have accepted Him as my Lord and Saviour, I came to understand and enjoyed every word in the book.  Just as I have understood and enjoyed His Word.  The Lord now is my compass and my captain.  I have already given up my control of the wheel.  But I am confident of His plans for me because He had it all laid down in the blueprint that is with me - His Word, the Bible.

Do I still have problems? Of  course.  Do I still feel frustrated sometimes? My old nature creeping back? The answer is yes.  But I have my ally who strengthens me, who convicts me and looks upon me with great love and mercy.

I have Jesus, my Lord and Saviour and that is enough to keep me going and walking into the path He prepared for me.