Guilty But Forgiven
One thing about being a Christian is how you feel so helplessly guilty whenever you caught yourself being convicted about a sin you just committed - be it a simple lie or getting angry with someone. Before I became one, I won't budge when I lie. I won't regret getting angry to someone. I rationalize and reason out why I had to do it. Now is a different story...
But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolater and all liars- they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.
Now, I know that the usual saying "liars go to hell" is true. When I read the above passage in the bible, I just cannot believe it! And what is more astonishing is this-
For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.
There is no difference whether someone else murdered a person and I just made a simple lie. In the eyes of God, both of us committed a sin and the wage of it is spiritual death - that is eternal separation from God, or in simple term: HELL.
As I was learning these things during our bible classes, I really got scared and at the same time, thankful that God lead me to gaining all these wisdom. And when I finally understood the very essence of Jesus sacrifice for us- His suffering and death on the cross- the more I bowed down and thank Him. Because he saved us from Hell. He is the gift of salvation that we are to freely receive.
Everyday now, I struggle not to commit sin. Everyday, I ask for strength to resist the devil. While I am slowly beginning to understand that God wants me to lead a life of righteousness like Jesus, I became aware too that while I am in this world, I am in my sinful nature and it will take God's power and mercy for me to be able to take the right path.
While I am turning back from my old self and God is giving me a new one, I am faced with temptations that most of the time is too hard to resist using my own strength. It is only by God's compassion and mercy that I can overcome them.
I am guilty. And I confess I am a sinner. I give harmless lies. I am full of pride and at times self-righteous. I get angry so easily. Things of this world never fails to attract me. And there are times when I fail to be patient and trust in God.
But I take comfort in His love for me. I take comfort in His promises. During those times when I feel undeserving for his gift of salvation, I confess and trust in His promise of forgiveness and mercy.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness
And so I pray...
Father, please forgive me for my sins. I ask you to be patient with me in renewing my heart. Forgive me for those times when I can't help but disobey your will and commands. I feel so guilty Father for I am easily angered and oftentimes feels the need take revenge or hurl negative words to people who hurt me instead of praying for them and just lifting it all up to you. I am also guilty of lying although I consider it harmless. Help me Lord to resist evil and hold on to your teachings.
I thank you for your forgiveness and mercy. For your work in making me worthy to receive your gift of salvation. Please be with me always as I take the walk in the path that you want me to take. Give me strength and wisdom to surrender into your will.
I ask all of these in the name of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.