3 years ago, I have learned what it's like not to be able to control things that were happening around me. I never knew then that God was already working the path in my life that only leads to Him. Through the process, I was beaten down, but stubborn as I was, I fought control over my life and my direction. But the more I struggled, the more I lost control and along the way became depressed. I was proud and has always believed that no one can dictate your destiny but yourself. But God showed me the hard way that it is Him who is in control. and more importantly, He taught me that it is only in Him I can find the real purpose, the real joy, the real peace and security in life.
It took a lot of pushing and nudging from God for me to be able to walk through the path that leads to Him. And when I got there, when He humbled me to my knees, my life changed a full turn. I was no longer my old self, but God gave me a new one. Full of hope and joy, full of peace and love- because of His grace, mercy and love for me.
And today, I want to remember. I want to remind myself that the new me should live according to God's will and purpose. I want to remind myself that it is only in God's presence where I find the true riches and wealth. Because it is true what they say that when God starts blessing you financially, you tend to forget where your true security, peace and joy resides. The things of this world has an effective way of luring you out of God's presence.
God has blessed me amazingly with a good work and He has done the same with Vergil. I can only smile when I remember how we tirelessly struggle before for this, but when we surrendered to God and let Him take control, He as if handed this to us in a silver platter, in His good time.
God enabled me to work at home and earn a good income that is more than what I can be earning in the corporate world. But lately, it has been taking me away from what my life's purpose should be. And I pray to God that He help me go back to the right direction. I am reminded of Pastor Dennis' message two Sundays ago about Genesis chapter 34-35, when Jacob disobeyed God when He went to Shechem instead of Bethel where God instructed Him to go. Jacob suffered the consequence of His disobedience, but God in His love, grace and mercy, directed Jacob once again to the direction He wants him to take and protected him along the way. I can relate to Jacob, because there are times when I disobey God's instructions; but his story should be a lesson for me. It took 10 years, worry, grief, fear and heartache for Jacob before He finally took God's instruction to heart. I don't want it to be the same for me.
It is my prayer that God forgive me for going astray and that He opens my heart to see where should I be heading.
Today, and everyday, I will remember the day God has taken me into His kingdom and adopted me to be His child. Today and everyday, I will remember what Jesus did to save me and to make me worthy to stand in God's presence. Today and everyday, I will remind myself that it is not the things of this world that gives me peace, joy and love and eternal life. It is only Jesus. And it is but right to live my life for Him, for His glory and for His will and purpose alone.
The Lord directs the steps of the godly
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, the will never fail,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.